Pillars of support; the importance of networking

 

  

 

 Who are your pillars of support?

 

  How’s life treating you? As the school year gets busier, how are you coping with the demands made on you at home, and how do you balance these with your job? Who can you count on to support you when life gets tough? Identifying a supportive ‘network’ of people is vital to maintaining our health and minimising harmful stress levels.

‘Networking’ is the name of the game.

 And no, I don’t mean going to breakfast meetings and high-powered lunches (but if that is what you fancy, hey, give it a go!), but rather, looking to build up a personal support network for the tougher times. Your own pillars of support.

We all know how great it feels to confide in a friend when things get hard to handle. A shoulder to ‘cry’ on, someone to listen as you ‘let it all out’ is fabulous; even better is someone who empathises, and can help you to move on and deal with things constructively and non-judgementally. In times of challenge, it can be difficult to cope at work when you have ‘life’ happening around you. Someone who can support you practically is worth their weight in gold.

When I was an NQT, I had a series of life changing events happen in rapid succession. In my first year of teaching, I lost my mum, had a baby, experienced a relationship breakdown and moved house. Just about everything that could happen to me, did, in the space of two years. My stress levels must have been through the roof, but I took no time off; I put my survival at that time down to the network of people who ‘appeared’ around me.

 Of course they didn’t ‘just’ appear, as if by magic, but rather, in my life at that time, I had gathered around me just the very people I needed to survive. I had very supportive colleagues, who kept me afloat at school, with kindness, compassion and understanding. My head teacher was one in a million. As I embarked on life as a single mum, most of my friends were wonderful, professional, resourceful single mums too; mutual babysitting was the order of the day, as were camping trips and shared cars on youth hostelling trips in Europe for holidays. My immediate neighbours were mainly single ladies with  children, or retired people who were in when I needed to leave a key for the gas man! My sister’s in-laws had room for us at Christmas. Another friend kept my car on the road for me when I had no money for garage bills. For 9 years, my son and I lived surrounded by our lovely, generous network of support, which ensured that life was as good as it could be. Of course, I also became part of my friends network, and so it continued….. 

Building solid ties and firm foundations upon which you can grow and develop, and lean on when necessary, is vital if we are to cope with all the demands made on us. Who is in your personal network? Who can you call on when times get tough? Whose network are you part of ?  In these tough economic times, identifying people like yourself who could be a source of babysitting, a lift to work or skills swaps, could be just what you need.

All of which, of course, will help you when it comes to staying resilient and resourceful when you are at school. Those pillars of support are invaluable when it comes to balancing ‘work’ and ‘life’, as we shall find out in next week’s blog post.

Until next week,

Sue x

© Sue Ritchie 2011

You Time Coaching for Teachers provides  affordable coaching for teachers. Contact youtimecoachingforteachers@hotmail.co.uk for further details.

http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-image-pillars-rimagefree1016929-resi3257954

Whose been sitting in my chair??

 

Choose your chair carefully

 

Working in schools, I have seen my fair share of stressed people. It seems to come with the job these days, as from the minute you walk through the school door, you are in constant demand from one person or another, not mention the paperwork, planning, behavioural issues, clubs, meetings, school events, management roles and responsibilities….the list can seem endless.

So, for the next few weeks I will be sharing with you some tips on how to minimise stress in your teaching day.

Often, as much stress is caused by colleagues, than other people. Some schools have a member of staff, or members, who have been there since the Ark, and are past their ‘sell-by’ date in terms of their interest in the job and attitude. Sound familiar?

One of the first things you can do to negate the stress in your day is to pick your seat in the staffroom very carefully! Some members of staff fall into what is commonly called the ‘energy sappers’ camp.Those ‘energy sappers’ are to be avoided at all costs.

How to recognise one; they moan constantly about the job; they dislike the children; they automatically raise objections to any suggestion; they clock-watch; they won’t ‘take part’; they bitch and gossip about other members of staff; they never smile; they huff and puff and sigh every time they move and exude a general air of discontent and negativity. 

Being around these people can have a marked effect on your energy and enthusiasm. A constant stream of negativity can be very draining, and can affect how you start to think about your job.

 Instead, seek out people who are positive, bright, enthusiastic, full of energy and enjoyment. You will notice how much this starts to change the way you think about what you are doing, and changing the way you think about things is one of the first steps to taking control, and therefore controlling your stress levels.

Choosing your company wisely can have a profound effect on your outlook and stress levels.

 

Look around your staffroom; who are you going to sit next to today??

© Sue Ritchie 2011

http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=851  Image by  Filomena Scalise with thanks.

You Time Coaching for Teachers provides quality, affordable coaching for teachers, by an ex-teacher. Contact youtimecoachingforteachers@hotmail.co.uk for further details.

Report writing survival guide!

 

Well it’s that time of year approaching again, when a teacher’s thoughts turn to that dreaded ‘R’ word….Reports. This can be one of the most time-consuming jobs in the school year, and the cause of many sleepless nights. I often caused myself untold stress and eye-strain burning the midnight oil, as year in, year out, I left my reports until the last-minute. A nightmare. I eventually learned to manage myself more effectively, so here are some tips for surviving the report writing period, and coming out the other side still sane!

1. Reframe the phrase ‘Time management’ to ‘Attention management’. In his book, ‘Get everything done and still have time to play’, Mark Forster makes the point that we all have 24 hours in a day. It’s not our time, he argues, that we have to manage, but rather our attention. The first task in successfully managing your time is to only direct your attention to those tasks that actually matter. Carry out an audit on your time for a  day;how much time is spent on doing things that matter, and will move your life on, and how many minutes and hours are wasted on trivia? Be honest; I have tried this and it’s shocking how much time I spend dithering around on the internet!!

2. Get rid of activities that are not moving your life on. This is particularly important when you are trying to write reports, or any other project that you have on the go. What can be ditched? Keep everything else to a minimum during this time.

3. In Mark Forster’s book, he also talks about the ‘SWEET’ point. This means ‘Stop Working On Everything Else Time’.  This is the latest point at which everything else has to be shelved in order to reach a deadline. So for reports, start at the date they are sent out to parents, and work backwards. What date do the first drafts need to be the phase leader? How long will it take you to get to the first draft? How long do you need to gather work together, mark SATS papers etc…At this point you may be five weeks away from the parent deadline;work backwards until you have a point at which you need to START.This is latest you can leave it before they become pressurised, so be realistic about how long each stage will take you.

4. Start. The important thing is to get started; the thought of them is often very daunting. I used to enjoy making sure I had all the pupil’s names and details on every report, before I thought about writing any comments; sad, but it got me going!

5. Do something every day. Even if it is for 15 minutes, commit to daily action, and keep it up. Decide whether or not the weekend counts.

 6.Get to know what time of day suits you best for working. Are you a night-owl who doesn’t mind writing into the night, or  would getting up half an hour earlier give you extra time to make a start?

7. Do one thing at a time; break the reports in smaller steps/tasks and tackle each one at a time. I used to invent new ‘systems’ every year for tackling them; writing one subject at a time; concentrating on one child at a time; starting with personal statements or only writing them at school…

8. Look after yourself. It’s very easy to feels stressed by feeling of pressure that mounts up with procrastination, or feel overwhelmed by the enormity of what lies ahead. Eat properly, get enough sleep, take some exercise, and treat yourself as you work your way through tasks you have to finish.

With some planning and thought, you can minimise the impact as much as possible And just think what it feels like when they are done!

© Sue Ritchie 2011

You Time Coaching for Teachers provides quality, affordable coaching to support classroom teachers. Contact youtimecoachingforteachers@hotmail.co.uk for further details.



Who would make your line-up?

 

I spend a lot of time writing these blog posts with the laptop on my knee, as my son and husband watch whichever football match happens to be on the TV at any one time. It doesn’t matter who is playing, they will watch it. They both have their favourite teams, but if they are not playing, they will happily pick a side for the duration of the 90 minutes  it takes to watch whoever might be on.

When I was a teacher, teams featured a lot in my life at school too. In an earlier post, I talked about team-playing, and suggested ways  to handle those who aren’t so keen on it. Teams are important. Football and  rugby fans have lifelong loyalties to them, often highly emotional ties that bind , evoking great rises and falls in temper and mood; elation one minute, depths of despair the next. In schools, teams form a unit  of belonging, an identity, with shared aims and ways of working. In both situations, there is that personal investment  in ‘my’ team, a sense of pride and unity. Teams generally work closely, cooperate, and each member plays a distinct role,often with the whole being more than the sum of the parts. Teams are so important, both at work, and in leisure, because they promote a cohesiveness, a structure and a sense of belonging and mutual support.

So, if you had to pick your own personal ’team’, to support you in your life, who would make it onto the bench?  Which colleagues can you rely on to be ‘onside’ when you need them? Which of your friends and family can you ’pass’ to, when needed? Have you got a team with a wide  range of skills that compliment yours? What is your role on the team? Is there a mix of experience and new ‘talent’ ? Is there someone you need on your team, but don’t have? Where could you find them? How will you get them ‘onside’ ? Do you need to ‘sell’ or ‘substitute’ someone? And are you the ‘captain’ of your team, or is someone else running things?

Surrounding ourselves by a strong ‘team’ can help us to thrive. Take a minute this week, to identify who you have on yours, and consider the ways in which they support you, both in school and out. Think laterally -  school caretakers and secretaries have always been in my line-up  Is there a member of staff  you would like to recruit, perhaps to provide a role model or mentoring role? Do you know someone whose skills you admire, who would be willing to ‘train’ you?

This week, enjoy the game, and use your ‘team’ to  help you score your goals. Aim high, and be a winner

© Sue Ritchie 2011

You Time Coaching for Teachers provides high quality, affordable and flexible coaching by an ex-teacher. Contact youtimecoachingforteachers@hotmail.co.uk for further details.

Preparing for success!

I used to have a recurring dream in which I was on the stage, and just as I was about to deliver my lines I would freeze, because I had not learned them properly. I don’t tread the boards any more, but when I did, the key to feeling relaxed and confident about a performance was preparation.

These days, that dream surfaces when I feel that I have not been prepared enough for a situation I am going to face. Thankfully, it rarely makes an appearance these days, as I have learned that one of the keys to being confident,  for me, is in being prepared.

As teachers, you all know that preparation makes  the classroom a better run and managed place. Lessons run more smoothly, children are better behaved, you are calmer, more learning takes place, and generally if you want to keep your sanity, it’s the way forward. Lesson observations are an obvious example of a time when the phrase ‘ if you fail to prepare, you prepare to fail’ springs to mind.

Preparation can also come into its own in other areas of school life, or work, if you are reading this and are not a teacher.

1. Meetings. If you are on a large staff, it can sometimes be daunting to make your point in front of every one, however experienced you are. In this situation, having an advance copy of the agenda can allow you to identify items you might want to speak about. If you want to promote your image and make others sit up and take notice of you, some carefully planned input into key agenda items can impress. Rehearsing your points, ensuring they are clear, logical, to the point and perhaps backed up by some evidence can make you feel more confident, particularly if you are an NQT, or unused to speaking to large groups of adults, some of whom may be very assertive in their views!

2. Dealing with difficult people. You know who these are; tricky parents, members of staff, heads of departments, colleagues who don’t play ball. Have your facts clear, and at your finger tips, particularly if the meeting involves you have to fight your corner. Be honest in your assessment of the situation; be prepared to share how you could help rectify the situation. Do you need policy documents to refer to? If so, have them there. Have organised, documented evidence if needed. What might their agenda be? Can you see things from their point of view? Try to imagine their arguments and have some counter-arguments prepared. Stay calm, breathe, acknowledge how the other person may be feeling, and make your point assertively, not aggressively.

3. Performance Management meetings, or other reviews of your work. Make sure you have gathered together any evidence you may need. Rehearse what you are going to say, and present your achievements succinctly and fluently, backed up with facts and figures to support your progress. Again, a thorough, honest self assessment can be constructive in finding a way forward. Prepare to acknowledge success too! Accept compliments .

4. Providing INSET, or other training. It goes without saying: know your stuff!  If you are being asked to present for the first time, and you feel nervous, is there someone else on the staff who has the experience to support you, or who could mentor you in other ways? Check the room you are using; does it have everything you need in terms of ICT support and seating? Prepare handouts and other materials to be shared in plenty of time, and make sure you know how to use any equipment properly, including programmes like Power Point, or an Interactive Whiteboard that may throw a wobbly; know how to rectify common problems, or where to find someone who can, quickly!

5. Saying ‘No’. Not an obvious one this, but one I think is vital. In a busy school, or other work place, it is often easy to take on more and more work, responding to other’s deadlines and demands. There will, of course, be times when you can’t say no. But there will be occasions when it is possible to say no politely, and not make other people’s priorities your own. Preparing to say ‘no’ needs you to value your own work and agenda for the day, and is something you can do with ease once you establish whose priorities you are working to. Make sure you keep a diary or schedule, so you know what’s expected of you and when, and be punctual with your own work deadlines. Make a judgement call about the request being made of you; is it vital? Is it something that could wait until the end of the day? Practice saying ‘no’ politely, with a succinct reason why. If it is something you can consider later, tell them; ‘I’ll get back to you later, leave it with me.’

Lastly, as the saying goes, be prepared to be flexible…we all know about the best laid plans

© Sue Ritchie 2011

You Time Coaching for Teachers provides quality, affordable  and flexible coaching from an ex-teacher with 18 years classroom experience. Please contact youtimecoachingforteachers@hotmail.co.uk

 

Five tips for team playing…

 

Five tips for team playing… 

I was at a party at the weekend, and got talking to an old friend, who was having problems with a member of the team she worked on in school. It sounded to me like the notion of team playing had somehow gone amiss. According to my friend,someone wasn’t following the rules; someone was ‘cheating’, and  this someone seemed to have forgotten that they were part a team.

But what are the rules of the ‘game’? What do you expect as you ‘play’? How do you ‘play’ fairly? What benefits are there in belonging to a team, and how can you make the most of it, and encourage others to ‘play’ fairly too?

1.The first rule, it would seem to me, is to….agree the rules! As a team, sit down together and agree what makes you a team. What level of support can expect from each other? Will you share planning? What about good practice? You might want to consider writing a mission statement that you can share, to remind yourselves of where you are all heading. As a team, what do you want from your department/Key Stage? Shared expectations need to be explicit, and agreed by everyone. Keep talking/negotiating until you have that. Once you have this agreement, you can then start to ‘play’!

2. Learn to listen to each other. This is a much underrated skill, and studies about the brain have shown that an interruption can be perceived as an assault! Nancy Kline, in a ‘Time to Think’, promotes the idea of allowing everyone a few minutes uninterrupted speaking  time at the beginning of a meeting. So to the question, ‘What’s working well?’  or ‘What do we need to change?’, each member of the team may give their ideas safely in the knowledge that they will not be ‘tackled’  and bought crashing to the ground! Allow everyone to talk first, then discuss ideas. Make notes for later if you think you will not remember what you intended to say.

3. Teams are made up of different skills. Appreciate everyone’s. Is there someone who is leading the way in one area? Ask them to share their ideas or approaches, or provide you with some skills updating in a team meeting. Share good practice, and be generous with it. Keeping good ideas to yourself can seem mean to colleagues; quality will out, you will still look good, and may inspire others in the process. Why be the best kept secret?

4. Ask the right questions. If a colleague is not playing by the rules, you need to find out why. A coaching approach can help here. Aggressively interrogating a colleague will only end up alienating them. Open questions such as ‘ What’s not working for you?’ , or ‘ How can we ensure continuity in our practice?’ are less threatening than demanding that someone explain themselves.

5. Teams have a captain. Expect strong leadership and support from yours. A leader should set the tone for the team, motivating  and encouraging all members to do their best in a supportive environment. A good leader creates an environment where each team member takes responsibility for their own development and actions, and is self-aware. If you followed step one, this will be part of your mission statement.

What do you think? Do you have any other ideas for ‘team playing’? Please feel free to leave a comment

© Sue Ritchie 2011

You Time Coaching for Teachers offers affordable, accessible and flexible coaching for teachers by an experienced ex-teacher. Contact youtimecoachingforteachers@hotmail.co.uk for more information

Those boots…

Those boots…

Those boots were made for walking… 

I left  teaching last summer to train to be a life coach, and as part of the training , we were asked to make a list of words that described us at our best. Focussing on teaching, my list contained words like ‘inspiring’, ‘motivating’, ‘energizing’ and ‘rapport-building’. Then followed the list that described us at our worst; ‘lethargic’, ‘unprepared’, ‘tired’ and ‘doom-laden’ were words that sprang to mind.Where are you today,we were asked, on a scale of one to ten, between those lists? What then, stops you from being on your second list permanently? We were asked to identify what routine, what ritual, what daily reminders lifted us into our ‘best list’ and prevented us from sinking into the negativity of the second. What made me be the best teacher I could be?

For me it was a pair of high-heeled black suede boots. These boots were not for the faint-hearted. Four inches of towering gorgeousness that were not built for playground duty. No play dough or paint near these bad boys please. No kneeling on the floor, no slouching, no shuffling, no mistaking me walking down the corridor in them. And that was just the point.

A few weeks earlier I had trashed the Monday morning skirt, and most of my teacher wardrobe, as I neared  the end of my full-time classroom career. In my head I was making the transition between teacher and coach, and those boots nailed it for me. Wearing them, I was a new woman. Gone was the twee primary teacher of 18 years,often ground down by the job and the media/public perception of teachers, and in her place was someone who could walk tall, literally. Those boots made me stand up and be counted,boosted my self-esteem, and made me feel I was anybody’s equal, striding slowly down the corridors with my head held high, feeling professional and in control. I stood differently in them, moved differently in them and most importantly I felt differently about myself when I wore them. And because I felt differently in them, I behaved differently.

It’s no exaggeration to say that when I wore them, I became everything on that first list. They were, and still are, a way of bringing out the best in me! They never fail to allow me to glide smoothly into any situation, in  a calm and measured way; there’s no stressful rushing in those boots I still do some part-time one to one tutoring, and they make a regular appearance on those days.They remind me that I am professional and I carry myself with pride.

So, what is it for you? What elevates you and lifts you, makes you be the best you can be and inspires you every day? Is it a piece of clothing, a picture, a piece of jewellery, a  goodbye kiss from your children , an affirmation, or gratitude? When the job, or life, gets you down, what picks you back up again?

If you are feeling the pressure, try making  a list of you at your best, in whatever role…then identify ‘anchors’ that help you to support that behaviour and maintain those feelings…..and submerse yourself in them, time and time again   Do what feels good!

© Sue Ritchie 2011

You Time Coaching for Teachers offers affordable, accessible and flexible coaching for teachers by an experienced ex-teacher. Contact youtimecoachingforteachers@hotmail.co.uk for more information

 

 

Five easy ways to make a difference to your day…

Feeling fed up, ground down and back on the treadmill? Wishing half term was here already?  Whether you are a teacher  or not, these simple tips can help you to improve your relationships with everyone you meet. By consciously adopting a different outlook, you can radically change how your day turns out…..

Here are my top five, tried and tested simple  tips for improving your day, with the added advantage that they will improve the day of everyone you meet too!

• Smile! It’s amazing how many people don’t do this. Set your self a target today to smile and make eye contact with everyone you meet, and notice what happens. Even people you’d not normally bother with. Don’t come across as a crazed lunatic, but a friendly smile and a bit of eye contact is only a good thing
• Use people’s names. This is something i have done for years as i speak to someone, and the difference it makes is amazing. That personal acknowledgement of who they are creates an instant personal bond and rapport and immediately gets people onside. Try it on the head, the caretaker, every parent you meet, the secretary and everyone you speak to on the phone.Use the names of the children you teach as you give your attention to them, and notice their response to you .
• Listen. One of the most underrated life  skills there is! Put down that pen, or book, or whatever else you may be doing, look at the person talking to you and l…i…s….t…e…n. Multi-tasking isn’t all it’s cracked up to be!
• Keep quiet! Don’t interrupt. Give the other person time to finish what they are saying. Nothing you have to say is as important at that moment in time. This can take some practice, but as a long term strategy  for improving all relationships, i would say it’s near the top of my list.
• Say thank you Take the time today to thank someone for something they have done for you, and tell them how much you appreciate it. Tell them what impact it has had on your life.Notice how they react, and how you feel. And if that feels good, tell another…and another…

Simple but easily forgotten ways to have a positive impact on others. Make these your ‘default’ settings, and watch what happens around you…..

© Sue Ritchie 2011

youtimecoachingforteachers@hotmail.co.uk  providers of quality, affordable coaching for classroom teachers.